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Family Life

  • Family Dynamics Where I Come From


    • Living as a family is a great challenge. This is so whether you are living together in a rental house or a family-owned place. Where I come from, the husband is the head of the family. It does not matter how small his salary or take home is. It does not matter whether he is disabled or not. Whatever the case, the same principle applies. I always remind my family and close friends that without his seeds, we will not exist. This is what I think. I acknowledge that we are living in the 21st century and there are a lot of changes taking place. Where I come from, modernization has changed the family dynamic, and it has made the rules within it more complicated. 
    • Where I come from, even if the wife earns more than her partner, she will never belittle her husband. Never in front of family and friends. The most important and no-go area is in front of the kids. Following these house rules gives the couple a united front in disciplining the kids. This is so even if the couple spends their time quarreling in private. The important thing is that they do this away from everybody. The peace, unity, and harmony in a family are based on this simple fact. Then follows the image or what I call the dynamic of a family projection to the outside world. The family must portray itself to the outside world following a set of static rules. These rules include the way they dress, how they appear, and most importantly, where they live. Where you live, eat, and sleep says more about you than the person you are outside. 
    • In my house, one weekend out of four is dedicated to the maintenance of the house, garden, and car wash. Another week is dedicated to a family gathering to check the physical, mental, and spiritual health of its members. Everyone is allowed to commit one weekend to attend to his or her social life. 


    The Maintenance Of The House

    • At the end of the week, usually on a Friday, the head of the family, which is the man organizes the chores and activities for the weekend. He dictates who does what and how things should go within the maintenance period. Although this doesn’t sound exciting, it was always a great time. Contrary to what people may think, we often look forward to the fun ahead and can’t wait to work together. ALWAYS. 
    • We are always surprised to learn new things every time we meet to share the cleaning task. When we are stuck with something that we do not know how to clean or maintain, we google it or go to YouTube. If we learn something about a product that we find fascinating and do not have, we buy it. If we learn how to do something to improve our cleaning skill, we record it. 
    • Not having the right tool for carrying out a task does not stop us from doing it. We do the cleaning with what we have got, no matter how tedious that is. We do our best and remind ourselves to buy the product next time. What we do not do is to leave the task itself for next time. We always find a way to perform it. 
    • In my house, we have banished the words, “impossible, difficult, annoying, lazy, and doing tomorrow.” Instead, we replaced them with “how to go about doing this, where can we start, how many of us can do it. What can we use to tackle this?” The results have been great. 
    • At the end of each week, we all write and highlight the problems we encountered. We make a resume and display it on the task board. Yes, we do have a task board which reminds us of what was done and what to expect. Wherever we are, we dedicate a set time to look after our rental house as our own. 
    • Why not? We live there, and we want to make it the best place we ever lived in. We repeated these rituals with every house we lived in until we got our own. I remember landlords coming to us several times at the end of each tenancy and asking us if we really lived in the house. They were usually perplexed at the state of the house when we hand it back to them. We were asked the same question each time we were leaving a property. 
    • When it comes to cleaning at the end of the week; we never, never find excuses to avoid our chores. The only way to prevent the tasks was to get sick, but whenever anyone was ill, it was always genuine. The ill person would be exempted for the weekend. 
    • We have a roster for cleaning and maintaining the property. Each week, a member of the family is assigned to clean a designated area. I could be cleaning the kitchen today but be assigned a different part of the house the next time. We take turns with the cleaning, and everyone would still get to clean the same places, only at different times. This way, no one feels that they are doing all the dirty jobs. 
    • Our cleaning roster has two levels. Every quarter, the family braces itself for a deep cleaning exercise. Cleaning on these days is more thorough and includes carpet cleaning, brass, and wood liquid cleaning application to doors and wooden floors. Sometimes, we undertake repainting or washing of walls and doors. Again, the head of the family will decide on what to do. He can decide that we will be undertaking deep oven cleaning, gardening, and patio washing.
    • As a family, we learn from each other, and we also learn new skills by watching “how to do” videos on YouTube. We help each other until the house is thoroughly cleaned, and anyone who finishes earlier does not leave. Each time we were going a property, the landlord always expressed regret, sadness, and even showed uncertainty to let the property to anyone else. We always delivered the property to them in a nearly new state. The landlords got used to having everything looking fresh and as though the property had never been used. They have expressed concern and sometimes seemed desperate to get us to stay. I remember a landlord who was ready to discount the property from £900 to £750 to convince us to stay for another three years.


    It is essential to look after the property you live in. Why?

    • The reason is simple. You live there. For your safety, it should be clean and free of germs and parasites. Keeping the property in which you live clean is for your benefit and wellbeing. Besides, you are cutting the cost of repairs after your tenancy expires. Similarly, you help the landlord to reduce his maintenance cost, which may lead to a reduced rental agreement (if you are that lucky). 
    • Although you cannot determine what happens to the property after you leave, you can hope that the person who stays in it will enjoy it and perhaps follow your footsteps. 
    • Also, it does give you an excellent reputable reference which will help you to secure another property. 
    by: tenancy solved uploaded September 5, 2019